Healthcare in COVID times and the impact it had on my family
What would you do if you knew the time left for your loved ones to live?
In April 2022, I got a text from my mother. 'Your grandpa passed away.' My heart was shattered. I cried all night long.'
One thing I regret was not spending much time with him. I went to a Swiss boarding school when I was 12 and only returned to my home country (Japan) twice a year since then. It really hurt that I did not get to go back to Japan that winter due to the COVID-19 restriction, and the summer of 2021 was the last time I saw him. From going back and forth between Switzerland and Japan, I saw him gradually getting old, changes in how he speaks and acts, but no one in my family saw his death coming. It was a sudden death at the nursing home he stayed in.
My father told me the reason for my grandfather’s death was the formation of a blood clot, which led to insufficient blood flow in his body.
This happened when he was quarantined in his nursing room by himself as COVID cases arose in the nursing home where he resided. It was suspected that the blog clot might have worsened due to the lack of supervision. As the nursing home was under quarantine, he was given food, but was not supervised to eat or drink water sufficiently. Also, he did not get enough movement for a several days which may have resulted into an economy class syndrome like situation.
After hearing that and seeing my father's emotionless face, I felt pity for my grandpa, which turned into disappointment toward the nursing home. 'Why did they not assess these risks when caring for him? Why was there poor supervision?' I questioned myself and the situation and thought about a lot of' ifs': ' IF COVID never spread, IF my grandpa was not in the nursing home, IF I never left Japan.
Around 7 million people were killed by this new variant. (Worldmeter, 2023).
But the truth is no one knew what was the right or wrong thing to do. Healthcare workers were pressured and overworked to treat and save millions by risking their own lives. It is tough then to satisfy every patient in the healthcare environment. However, more sympathy and mental and physical support was needed during the pandemic than usual. In difficult times, kindness can be the best medicine for vulnerable ones. Hence, I wish the nursing home where he resided could respond better if a similar situation were to happen.
This incident has left huge scars on my family and myself. It gave me a fear of instantly losing someone I love, which has also led to excessive control over my relationships out of fear of losing them, which was unhealthy. Through many arguments and breakdowns with my significant others, I came to realize that I cannot control others but my emotions and behavior can. Thus, instead of arguing, I became open about my fear and worries. That made me feel at ease and started to appreciate their presence in my life.
After a year and a half, these emotions have turned into my love for my grandfather. I do still wish my grandfather was taken care of better and had someone he loved surrounding him when saying the goodbye. But as much as I regret not spending more time with him, I will cherish all the memories I made with him.
I love you, and I miss you every day, my grandpa.
Reference:
World Health Organization. (2023). WHO Coronavirus (COVID-19) Dashboard. World Health Organization. https://www.who.int/data/stories/the-true-death-toll-of-covid-19-estimating-global-excess-mortality
By Azuki Tokunaga (She/Her) | Blog Committee member
